The Darkness of Depression Will Lift – Promise

What I find most heartbreaking about the high rate of suicide among young people, is that I know, if they could have waited, they would have come through the dark time and been glad to be alive.

The first time depression hits, and it gets hold to the point where life isn’t worth living, you think the rest of your life will feel like that. But you swing out. Most of us don’t just suddenly wake up feeling awesome – it’s a slower swing, but soon you look back, and think, “Wow. I was in a really bad place. Glad that’s over.”

So if you’re in the middle of it, please hang on! Even without doing any of what my previous posts suggest, we were made to move on from sorrow and failure and heartbreak and despair, to adapt and grow and thrive. You will too.

The Tools You Need to Fight Depression

Taking care of ourselves chases depression away, just like it does for other illnesses. When we get to a more solid place, that’s when we need to make the self-care stuff habitual. There are things we can make part of our lives that will keep us out of the deep hole of depression. Here’s my top ten, linked to the posts that explore the topics:

  1. Say kind things to yourself: If you catch yourself thinking self-critical thoughts, change them to positive ones and say them out loud.
  2. Bring your thoughts back to the present moment when you realize they’ve gone to weird or yucky places. Remind yourself that you only have to do one thing at a time and you don’t need to worry about what’s next.
  3. Don’t isolate. Make people part of your life even when it’s hard and get help when you need it.
  4. Deal with past trauma; not just big stuff, but little things that you don’t want to remember. Once you process it with another person, it loses its power to haunt you.
  5. Beware of avoiding things that make you anxious. Avoiding stuff that should be faced makes you more depressed.
  6. Eat food that helps your body function and drink eight glasses of water each day.
  7. Live in tune with the rhythms of the natural world, pausing to rest between segments of the day.
  8. Make your living spaces functional and beautiful, into places you want to live and work.
  9. Examine your world view. Ask yourself if it is consistent with reality and helps you to live through and beyond depression. If you don’t already, consider following Jesus Christ.
  10. Examine where your time on screens is going, and whether it’s helping or hurting you.

Depression isn’t something we have to put up with. There are so many steps we can take that will lead us out to a better place.

Homework: Journal what choices you’re making that help you feel good, and which ones lead to you feeling bad. Analyze one of the bad choices, and note what kind of help you need to change it. Then go get that help.

Anything helpful to add? Click on the top title, then comment below.

Ugly is Depressing – the Importance of Bringing Beauty into Your Living Space

“The way my place looks doesn’t have any effect on me. I don’t care; it’s just where I crash.”

I’ve heard quite a few people say things like that. I don’t believe them.

You can’t sever sensing from feeling. Everything we see, touch, smell, hear and taste affects our emotions. When I see a picture of a puppy playing, I feel happier than when I see a picture of an animal being hurt. When I smell lavendar, I enjoy that a lot more than smelling garbage. So it goes. Surroundings matter to humans.

Ask Yourself Some Emotion Questions

Go into the room where you sleep and look around. Do you like the look of the walls? Do the sheets smell clean? Are there any annoying sounds? Rate the room on a scale of 1 (ugly and uncomfortable) to 10 (beautiful and comfy). Do that for all the rooms you live in.

If your numbers are low, you can do some things to feel better in your space.

I know, there’s that pesky issue of money for most of us, but cleaning is cheap, and so are some of the other changes that will boost your mood.

My sister runs an interior design business, Rusty Fig Redesign, and she specializes in repurposing, rearranging and reorganizing the stuff people already have to make it a more beautiful, more functional space. When people come back to their homes at the end of the day for the ‘big reveal’ -to see their redesigned spaces, they are always delighted. Some of them even cry with joy. They often say things like, “I can’t believe I get to live here.”

Ask Yourself Some Sensory Questions

Granted, my sister is especially gifted at this, but anyone can do something to improve their space. Any small improvement gives you an emotional lift. So try asking yourself some questions:

  • Start with one room. Think about all the uses for that room. If it’s a bedroom, you may list sleeping, resting, reading and dressing. Ask yourself, “Do I have what I need to be comfortable while I do all these things? You might need a new mattress, or a big pillow to lean against when you read in bed. You might need a standing lamp next to your closet so you can see to get dressed in the morning. If you can’t buy new stuff, be sure you’re making the best use of what you have.
  • Is there enough light in the room overall, or too much? You might need room-darkening curtains to sleep better, new lighting to see clearly, or to move things you’ve put in front of windows so you have a better view.
  • Look at the colors of walls, floors and objects. Do they look good next to each other or are their some clashes you don’t like? Would you like the room better if you painted it a different color? If you’re starting a room from scratch, try picking three to five colors that really look good together, and stick to them when you shop.
  • Are there any plants in the room? Plants bring life into a room (as long as you water them!) and they improve the air quality.
  • Are there any pieces of furniture or objects that give you a bad vibe? Seriously, sometimes we keep things because we inherited them or they’re a gift, or we spent a lot on them, and to be honest, we just don’t like them. Do you think of your mean great aunt every time you look at that vase? Lose the vase. Did you buy a modern side table that looked great in the store but just doesn’t look right with your other furniture? Maybe it needs moving to another room, or another home altogether?
  • How much stuff is in the room? If there’s a lot, do you like all of it, or would you enjoy more openspace? Edit out things you don’t use or like. Some people are most comfortable with a lot of stuff out on surfaces. That’s fine, but if you feel better with clear surfaces, its time to make some piles – Keep, Sell, Give Away and Throw Away.

Are there some things in the room that you enjoy? Maybe a scented candle, a framed certificate of an achievement you’re proud of, a soft throw blanket that makes TV viewing super-comfy? Comfort and beauty are different for everyone; my husband thinks his racing bike looks great in the dining room!

One More Way to Fight Depression

Obviously, great design isn’t the cure for depression. Lots of miserable people live in gorgeous mansions.

However, life is just more pleasant when you walk in to a room you’ve fixed up. It also gives you a little more energy and confidence to make other changes to improve your life. So, paying attention to the surroundings where you spend a lot of your time is one great way to fight depression.